108: Dai Ni No Kokoro (Second Heart)

from bosca bella cemetary, fernandina beach
all of these shifts of direction have made me aware of my desire to find my true path. over and over, jason has asked, but what do you want to do? and i just shake my head, confused by my options and limitations.
the duration of this search has taken has taught me patience. it has taught me how necessary it is to sit, to be silent. to listen and to wait.
certain means of clarification have revealed themselves to me recently. this quiet film, a library find picked up after a conversation with my french student who dreams of becoming a nun. the book that i actually first picked up while writing an article on teikei farming in japan. in this important text, i have learned about passivity and the second heart, the heart that rests within the first heart of arrogance and pride. the second heart feels "the reality of the power of love, of a wisdom that transcends the level of human capabilities... Modern society is a product of dai ichi no kokoro (first heart), the heart of the three dimensions. It is a society beset with mutual plundering and killing... It is only through our dai ni no kokoro that the true human world will evolve, bringing with it a love that guarantees its preservation." (Yanase Giryo pages 24-25). also, the inaka edition of the kyoto journal, our last purchase from japan that we've been slowly reading. this article has stimulated me, making me consider the rural-urban situation even more. in the article, he asks why is the city always invading the countryside? when is the countryside going to invade the city? for me, this is something i've always been interested in and feel that land use and in particular urban farms and community gardens are such a crucial element for urban development. it is ideal to consider moving to the country like barbara kingsolver and living off the land, but by 2050 80% of humans will be in the cities. the cities must become sustainable and one of the first steps is connecting people to the environment through their food sources.

a little shift in our plans came in my e-mail today and part of dealing with it was a little search through idealist.org to see if there are any new jobs that i can apply for. i saw my dream job again and it made me think about how i can get the experience necessary to obtain such a position. i am trying to get a plot in the neighborhood community garden and i've always wanted to WWOOF but simply do not have the time or resources to do that in the foreseeable future. perhaps grad school is on the horizon?

i appreciate having the time and space, here and elsewhere, to sort these things out. i don't know anything still but i'll continue to collect these hints like luminescent gems, lighting my way along the path. thanks for reading my rambles. i promise that soon i'll have something true and (semi) solid to report.