a month of making

so recently, i've been in a creative slump. maybe it is the heat or the many changes and decisions going on here but for some reason i just can't push myself to do the things i want to do. and believe me, there is a lot i want to do. ideas surface every night as i lay with the boys resting their heads on my arms, slowing my breathing and heart rate so that they can follow suit. in the quiet, fantastic ideas just float up and i am left laying there without a pen handy (or a hand for that matter) just hoping i will remember the newest nuggets of inspiration. of course, what usually happens is that my methods of lulling my little ones to sleep are very effective and i have a difficult time resisting the siren's call for slumber. i do recall that last night i came up with the idea of making an alphabet matching card game, a patchwork pillow paired with a mini version that is filled with lavender (for a housewarming gift), an oven mitt/dish towel/ apron set (for another housewarming set). the night before it was dolls. simple folk style dolls in simple modern clothing. another night i decided that i wanted to make an everyday tote for lotta's book for my midwife and a notebook folio for my doula by nico's birthday. one night i came up with a complete waredrobe that i want to make for sebastian. and the fabric i want to print. the list goes on. i need to keep a notebook in my pocket so i don't lose anymore.
and yet another idea, a tee-shirt for jason's birthday. he received two rather, ahem, lame shirts from his parents and so i thought i would counter their gift with something he would actually want to wear. this is just the stencil.
i am taking him out tonight for a belated surprise dinner (shh, don't tell!). the surprise part is that i invited his friends that he rarely ever sees. two rather inexpensive and belated but good birthday presents, i think.

the other day i was talking to kayla about her high school art class. she told me that quanity was valued over quality and yet surprisingly it was effective in creating some really good work. this echos the advice of most artists/writers/craftspeople people who insist you must be involved in a creative act daily. for me it is hard. i have buckets of excuses that i reach for to explain why i don't make anything these days. the kids, the house, my work, applying to grad school, the stress of uncertainity, lack of supplies, tools. but the truth is that my excuses stem from my lack of confidence and my overthinking the result. it is the reason i can't write. the audience is too present. i always imagine where the finished product will end up, what will be the opinion of those who receive it, and even if it will one day become profitable. by the time i sit down to start, i am already discouraged by the fictitous outcome and end up walking away. again. and again. so to stop this bad habit, september will be all about making. creating something everyday and documenting it here. you are welcome to join. it doesn't have to be fancy or sewn or drawn or written. even a batch of delicious cookies can be included. just as long as it is conscious creation. if you do decide to join me, please leave a comment. i'd like to see what you are up to.
okay, this one is no longer so peaceful so i must get him ready for his date with his grandparents.

by the way, yahoo photos is going down so if, like me, you have some ancient pictures you forgot about you should go get them. i'll be posting my finds (all from our first year in japan-ones we lost when sebastian poured pocari sweat on our laptop) like this gem (the only picture we have of tokyo) this weekend on flickr as part of my photo organization project.

until tomorrow...